Vanguard, Mrs. Weaver and the Dreaded "Meet and Greet" Time.

All summer long Caden had asked us to go into the adult service at church. He struggled on Sunday mornings in his class and often felt insecure and cried. He also really wanted to see our pastor Kelly preach because he wants to be a preacher when he grows up. So we gave Caden the challenge of having good behavior for three weeks and then he could go to service with us. So for three weeks Caden kept himself together. The time came for him to go to service with us and Pastor Kelly was out of town. So Caden waited a couple more weeks to go to service with us.

We sat down in our usual seats and got ready for service. Caden spots a lady at the end of our row whom I have never seen before at Vanguard. He says "Mom she is a teacher at my school." I say, "Oh really, that's great honey." Service began. On this week they had a "meet and greet" time, this is not a normal Sunday morning activity at our church. Frankly, I am not a big fan of the "meet and greet" time. Caden insisted that we go and greet the teacher he knew. So I walk down the isle with him and he says hello and we find out that she is a second grade teacher, her name is Mrs. Weaver. Caden happens to be going into second grade.

God knows Caden well. He knows his heart and needs. We prayed for Caden's teacher all summer. Caden really wanted Mrs. Weaver. We prayed that God would give him just the right teacher. So on Tuesday night we went to meet his teacher and I was reminded that God is a God of the details. He got the teacher that sat in the same row as us on the only time Caden has ever gone to the adult service.

So this morning Caden had so much confidence going to school. He knew his teacher was just who God wanted for him. Obviously, it made me feel a lot better too!

I made it to the door!

The backpacks are gone today. Today was the day I sent two kids off to school. I held myself together through the whole drop off time with the kids. I stayed strong acted excited and wished them great blessing on a fabulous first day of school. I walked out the front doors of the school and wept.






I didn't want my kids to leave. I loved summer and my precious time with them. We hiked, went to the zoo, went on picnics, we went roller skating, played in all sorts of water, had birthday parties and generally enjoyed each other. I loved having my kids all to myself. I loved sharing all of these fun moments with them. Caden wasn't sad to go back to school, he was excited. He was sad that our summer was over. WE HAD FUN!

I think most Moms struggle with this day. I think I may struggle more. Why? Great question! I certainly don't believe it is because I love my children more than other moms. I believe I struggle more because it symbolizes growing up to me. I have spent most of my adult life working with preschoolers. I get preschoolers. I understand how they tick and how to help them succeed in life. I have extensive training and education for children ages birth to five. I felt very equipped to be a mother of little children. I however don't feel equipped to be a mother of school aged children. I am nervous about this transition. Will I instinctivly understand their needs? Will I understand how to help them through the next major milestones in life like girls or boys "liking" them and friends being mean? Will I be smart enough to help them with algebra? I often say I chose preschool because I was really good at my ABC's and I only needed to count to ten. I don't know the answers to these questions but I know that God is my source and my stregnth.

So after I wept I came home with Brielle and read stories, watched Sesame Street with her and enjoyed loving her. This is the first time I have had the chance to see her without her siblings. She won't need to cry for my attention or become frustrated that the older kids are doing something she can't. I am excited to love her.

I will miss the kids. I will miss their laughter and their silliness. Mostly, I will miss that they will never be little kids again, they are growing up.

Go Away Yippy Dog!

I am so tired of grief. I have felt it, seen it and in a strange way I feel as though it has moved into my life and is trying to become a friend. I don't want this friend. It is like a little yippy dog who is constantly barking at my feet. I just want to kick it away!

This week I have walked through grief again. I have shared time with a grieving friend. I too am still grieving her loss. A friends father passed away and another friend of mine was diagnosed with what we think is a terminal illness. I am weary.

I am so confused with the sovereignty of God. Why would he choose to allow so many I love to grieve so deeply? Why would He allow me to grieve so deeply?

I know all of the scriptures of peace, hope and comfort. I want to feel the peace, hope and comfort. I know I love God. Why don't I feel the promises? Why am I wrestling with Him?

I have come to the conclusion that this is my journey. I must wrestle. I must struggle with understanding a God who has all the power in the world and in my humble opinion isn't using it very well(obvious sarcasm interjected here). Some may ask "Why would you continue to serve and love a God who is mean?"

Drum roll.................because.

Yep, that is my answer.

Because, I know He loves me.
Because, I know He knows the whole story.
Because, what would faith be without some tension?

Quite simply I must learn to love, serve and trust God even when I don't get Him. I can't put God in my box. I must allow Him to be God.

I wasted 1271 minutes and I can't get them back!

Recently, I have become a fan of a game called Bejeweled Blitz on Facebook. I am not very good at this game. However, I have convinced myself that practice will help me to obtain Bejeweled Blitz glory. If I practice I will be able to get scores like Candice Covak or Steve Zitzmann. Mind you I am not jealous (nor am I judging them, as you read on this comment will make more sense) of them just amazed by their extreme talent. Surely if I play enough I will get as good as they are, right?

I have always struggled with self-control and self -discipline. I either have too much or too little in most situations. I have no balance. It has been my life-long battle and one I really want to conquer. Why is it that when I enjoy something I over indulge? Why is it also true that if I don't enjoy an activity I will run to things I do enjoy to avoid the "unpleasant" activity.

So I have come to the conclusion that I have allowed my compulsive nature to take over and Bejeweled Blitz has received 1271 minutes of my time in about five weeks. 1271 minutes computes to over 21 hours. I have spent 21 hours playing a game. I have allowed a game to rob my family. I have taken time from my children, my husband and myself to play a game. Really? I do have boundaries and usually play at night or nap-time. Still I am sure that 21 hours could have been spent in a much better way!

So now what? Do I beat myself up mentally, as I typically do? Do I give up on myself, as I typically do? Do I remind myself that "other people" don't struggle with things the way I do, as I typically do? I could but I am choosing not to do this. This time I am choosing to just stop playing the game. I am choosing to give myself back 21 hours.

Now what to do with all the time?

Lord, please help me to use the 21 hours of time you have just given me to help others and myself. Help me to use the hours for eternal good!

Once upon a time there was a girl with three sisters...

I am blessed to have three amazing sisters! I am honored to be the baby of the family and to see them live their lives as an example for me.

Linda is the firstborn of our family. I won't call her the oldest because that may not be nice! She is a funny, passionate, creative overachiever. She is a leader and people respect her. When she was 28 she made a decision to adopt two boys. She was single and felt like God called her to be their Mother. She gave up so much for them. However, I don't think she would ever say she gave up so much because she is a Mother who adores her sons. Her sons are amazing men. I have the privilege of living with her son John. I also worked with him for three and a half years. I get to hear often how wonderful he is. I attribute this to Linda her sacrifice and her love. I am honored to call her sister! Without my sister Linda I wouldn't know what it feels like to be locked in a lazy susan (I am still a bit claustrophobic to this day). I am sure I deserved it!

Carolyn is a strong, sensitive, creative, beautiful fighter. Carolyn is the most amazing Aunt. My children adore her. Their affection and care for her is so precious. Carolyn has some health issues which land her in the hospital on a regular basis. I love watching my children intercede for her before the Lord asking Him to heal her. Carolyn has a very generous spirit. She is the first to make sure all my children have clothes and shoes along with puppy bracelets and action figures. Carolyn shares my love of Sonic and ice cold beverages. I love to spend time with her.

Lisa is my silly, fun-lovin, overworked, mother of four sister. She is always positive even when her circumstances are difficult. Lisa has loved her husband since she was 15 years old. I have watched them go through so many life changes and I still see her smile when she sees him. Lisa loves her children well! I often call her and find her at the park with her kids after working a 10 hour day. Lisa and I would sing to each other and give each other back rubs to fall asleep each night when we were children. Lisa would wear my clothes to school that I had ironed and prepared the night before. She knew what buttons to push with me, at times she still does. Lisa is smart and goofy. She is my friend and my biggest supporter.

I am a blessed woman. I have three sisters who Love God with all their hearts. I am so thankful that I know I get to love them for eternity!

So Linda, Carolyn and Lisa thank you for being the examples of faith, passion, perseverance and strength to me. Thank you for loving me with all my imperfections and letting me be me.

The $23.72 Birthday Party

Aubrey turned five on July 5th. July 5th is a very difficult birthday because generally no one is in town. We decided that we would just do a small family birthday for her. Aubrey however had other plans. All though we had explained our plans she was convinced that we were having a party for she and her friends. I really felt like Aubrey would be devastated if we didn't have a party for her. So a quick email to her friends and four of the five girls invited could come.

We however, didn't have the budget for a party. So my frugal mind started working. It would be a glamour party. I have nail polish, make-up and "girly" stuff. The reality of why I wasn't having a party was not because of her birthday date. It was because I was struggling with not feeling like her party would be adequate. I am not a person to "keep up with the Jones" but I honestly thought she would be disappointed. I was SO wrong!

After their pedicure they got new flip flops I made for their party favor.

The girls came and I gave pedicures and manicures while they watched a princess movies. We curled hair, put on make-up, ate cake and opened gifts. Aubrey was thrilled. She felt like a Princess.

Her cake decorated with rings another party favor!

I learned a valuable lesson. Don't assume what response your child will have. She told me later it was the "Best Birthday EVER!" She did say that she wished her cousins Kendra and Ashley were there but nonetheless it was still the best day ever.

Changing Bad Habits into Good Habits!

I had a friend post a facebook status update about a new discipline system that she is using. She briefly described some things she is doing and I took those idea's and made a system that is working quite well in my home. I don't know if our systems are the same but I want to make sure to give credit where credit is due!

Our system is called Family Accountability. I love the thought that it isn't just the children who will be accountable in our home but all of us will be accountable. We are accountable to God and each other.

Family Accountability Rules

First you need to set up a list of family rules. Our rules are basic and easy to understand. Here are a few of our family rules. We have 15 all together.

1. No means No. We do not negotiate when we are told No.

2. No fighting with siblings. No hitting, pinching, punching(you get the picture).

3. Chores/Daily Good Habits must be done daily without being prompted. (more to come on this one below)

4. No complaining if you earn a Good Habit Card or you receive a three card penalty. (more to come on this below too).

5. No raising your voice in anger.

6. No fighting with your siblings

7. No more than 30 minutes of electronics time (computer, ipod etc.)

Chores / Daily Good Habits

Next you need to assign chores and daily good habits to each family member. Here are some of our assignments, in reality there are many more on our lists but don't want to bore you too much.

Joy: Exercise for at least 30 minutes daily. Tell your husband that you love him daily(super easy for me to do, he is lovable). One large chore daily like mopping, vacuuming etc.

Caden: Clean cat litter daily, check wastebaskets, gather laundry

Aubrey: Water plants, keep Barbies, markers, crayons and coloring books cleaned up when not in use, always put shoes away in their proper place(if you know Aubrey you know how often this is broken)

Good Habit Cards or GHC

So if you catch your child or they catch you not following family rules or completing your daily chores/ good habits you will have to pick a good habit card. Our goal is to exchange bad habits with good habits hence the name Good Habit Cards. Good Habit Cards have lots of good habits on them. Here are some examples of the approximately 40 cards we have:

1. pull the weeds in the yard

2. vacuum the family room

3. clean out Mom's car

4. Memorize different scriptures (we have about 10 of these in our GHC)

5. Write five good things about________(list different family members)

6. Clean the refrigerator out

7. Dust the living room

8. Grace Given nothing needs to be done (I have 5 in my cards)

So on any given day my children get approximately five GHC's. They have tried hard not to get any GHC's but they can't seem to remember not to fight with each other or that No means NO!

Commissions

Finally, the kids and adults can earn commissions for receiving no GHC's. They can either save their commissions up or instantly cash them in. We are on a strict budget so we have commissions that have a very low cost. It is also difficult to not earn any GHC's. Here are some examples:

One day with no GHC's pulled:

1. A 20 minute activity alone with either Mom or Dad

2. Your choice of a movie or 15 minutes extra electronics time

Five days with no GHC's pulled:

1. Go get ice cream

2. Pick out of a treasure box

Ten days with no GHC's pulled:

1. Go on a date with Mom or Dad

2. Pick out a toy

3. Mom gets a pedicure if she gets Ten days with no GHC's pulled

It may take my kids a year before they have ten days saved up. Therefore, I am not super worried about doing something big for them.

I hope this didn't confuse you. I hope it gave you some of your own ideas. To sum the system up.

If chores/good habits are not complete your receive a Good Habit Card

If family rules are broken you receive a Good Habit Card

If you don't get any GHC's in a day you can earn rewards / commissions

If you have any other ideas let me know. I would love to hear your thoughts!