Friday, February 26, 2010

Big Fat Ugly Sin!

I tend to be a little plump. I know this may be earth shattering to many of you but true it is. I have essentially struggled with my weight my entire adult life. I have done every diet known to mankind. I have tried Nutrasystems, Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers, Weigh Down, I have counted calories, I have starved myself and I even gone as far as taking Phen Phen (to which I now have a heart condition). I literally have tried everything. I however haven't given my sin to God. Yep, I am saying it out loud for the five or so people who might read this. I haven't given my sin to God! I haven't let Him be God in this area. I make excuses...I have a slow metabolism, I am too busy, it's genetics. However, the ugly truth is it is my drug of choice.

My sin is ugly. I am realizing how I let it not only haunt me but also those most important to me. I hide from getting my picture taken(there are very few pictures of me with my children). I have an unbelievably low self-esteem because I have allowed my failure in this area to create a incredibly warped view of myself. This view of myself affects how I engage in relationships with others. I don't do things I once loved to do because I am overweight.

My sin is definitely more visible than most sins. My pants are probably larger than yours and I am certain the treadmill doesn't get as much attention as it deserves. Reality is that we all have sin. What are you hiding? What are you making excuses for? Are you judging those of us who struggle with their weight and forgetting to look at your less visible sins. Reality is your sin may have caused someone to look to food for comfort.

I wish I could say I am done with this sin in my life. I will no longer struggle and I have given it to God. However, just like you taking those steps with God is scary and uncertain. What I can tell you with certainty is I am one step closer in this journey than I was yesterday.


  1. And that last line is what connects us all. I so value your honesty, Joy, and am increasingly aware of how privileged I am to call you friend.

  2. Thanks Candice! I appreciate you kind words! I too am privileged to call you friend!