Sunday, April 25, 2010

Brielle vs. Toilet

Brielle is a very busy little girl! She stopped nursing at four months old because she didn't want the bother. After all, bottles and food were so much faster. She started walking around 9 months and at 18 months she can run circles around me. I love my Brielleeeeboo. My mom says that she is just like me.

She however, has been very difficult lately. Her idea of a good day is going into the bathrooms a million times to eat toothpaste, brush the toilet with toothbrushes, splash in the water of the toilet she eats markers, stands on the kitchen table and will pull out every dish from every cabinet regularly.

We have gotten very good at creating obstacles for her. Gates and locks are our friend. However, she still manages to find something that is dangerous or "off limits." I watch her mind race as we block off her ability to get to what she wants. Our attempts to keep her out of danger only give her more motivation to get what has been taken away.

I look at Brielle and think "Why does she keep going for things that aren't good for her?" I know that is what God thinks of me. Why sweet child do you continually try to figure out how to do the wrong thing? I guess just like Brielle I just want what I want. I know there will be consequences and yet many days I am still willing to take the risk and play in the toilet. I know Brielle will eventually learn that toilets aren't that fun. I hope I too will learn the toilet lessons in my life. I want to remember that God's boundaries are for my protection and because He loves me and living outside them just isn't that fun!

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Ahhh...the power of a sweatshirt!

One can truly never underestimate the power of a sweatshirt. It is such a cozy addition to any wardrobe. Living in Arizona for the past three years I have forgotten how much I love sweatshirts. I am quite certain I never wore one while living there. I missed my warm friend. I missed the feeling you get as you slide it over your head and let loose what lies underneath the clothing. It feels like an instant warm hug. I am so glad to wear sweatshirts again that it almost makes me giddy!

Thursday, April 15, 2010


My sister Carolyn is what I lovingly call "medically involved." She has suffered with illness for over half her life. I don't mean a cold here and there. She has suffered with the kinds of illnesses that land her in the hospital for weeks on end. I literally can't count how many surgeries she has had but I would venture to say well over 25.

Why do I share this with you? She is one of my hero's. Rarely do I hear her complain about her life. She doesn't stay in bed all day feeling sorry for herself. She makes the most of every moment she can. When she is in the hospital she always has a stash of candy for her nurses and a smile and a kind word too. I have seen her play match maker with the Dr.'s and Nurses and get to know them personally. I've seen her share her love of the Lord through her sweet and gentle demeanor. She doesn't spend her day complaining or being grumpy as many patients tend to do.

Recently, Carolyn came to visit me in Colorado. During her trip she didn't seem well but that didn't stop her. She kept going, kept pressing on, kept loving and spoiling my kids. We went to Focus on the Family to let the kids play at Whit's End. While there the slide beckoned her name. This isn't just any slide it is a huge giant slide that literally spirals outside of the building. Carolyn wasn't feeling great but that didn't stop hear. Caden asked her to go down it, so up the stairs she went. Again, this is a GIANT slide so there are probably five or so flights of stairs. Carolyn not feeling well and not adjusted to altitude climbed the stairs for the love of her nephew.

Carolyn left Colorado on Saturday and on Sunday she was in the hospital with pneumonia, a blood infection and low potassium.

Carolyn didn't let life ruin her joy. She lives everyday with the reality that it may be her last. She continues to have fun and invest in others. We all have options in life. I know that I let so many things hold me back. I hope that I can live like Carolyn. The unfortunate truth is I think sometimes I live like I have pneumonia a blood infection and low potassium more than she does!

Monday, April 5, 2010

The Charm of Charms

I have been writing frequently but I haven't been posting. Why? It seems as though everything I write somehow refers to David and Renee Hames. I have come to the conclusion I am using writing as a part of my grieving process. I know that for some of you the continuation of the saga may just be too much so you are fore warned.

Here is my latest story......

I had the privilege of going to a brunch to honor my friend Renee. When we were at the brunch we all gave her a charm for a bracelet and with each charm came an explanation of why we gave her the charm. It was a wonderful, tearful, joyful and deep time of true friendship.

I too have a charm bracelet full of charms given to me by my family and friends. Each day I have been wearing my bracelet to remind me to pray for Renee. I added to my bracelet the same charm I gave her as a reminder to pray for her. I chose to give her a small shoe to signify that the journey has just begun and that I will walk the journey with her forever.

The charm bracelet isn't the easiest thing to put on. It tends to fall off just as you go to hook it together. One day I was frustrated as I was trying to put on my bracelet. I was going to go ask Carl for help when in my head I heard "NO, don't ask for help do it alone." I really didn't think much about the "voice in my head(scary)." I just took the suggestion at face value and began to put my bracelet on each day without help.

On Sunday I went to church and Renee said to me "It's just the little things that are hard, like putting on this bracelet." In that moment I knew exactly why the little voice or in reality the Holy Spirit prompted me to not seek help with the bracelet. I am so thankful that in some small way I can really understand what she is saying. I can truly empathize with her. I too am struggling with the bracelet. So each day as I put on the bracelet and struggle my prayers are more directed. I pray that God would give Renee help with all of the little details. I pray that He would show her that He hasn't left her and He cares enough to prompt a friend to battle the little things with her!

God is a God of the details. Although many times in our journey called life we feel that He has abandoned us....He is still helping us put on our bracelet.