Friday, March 12, 2010


Carl and I have gone through an extremely difficult year including Carl being without employment for just over 7 months. It seems logical that we should have been distraught and angry. The truth is we grew more with the Lord and had so much peace that He was going to work everything out. We basically sat back and went on the ride.

We had every intention of staying in Arizona where we were living. I had a good job and Carl diligently looked for work there. He sent out resume after resume and NOT ONE call! We were confused because we had so many responsibilities in Arizona including a house that was and is worth a quarter of what we paid for it. I had a job that was very intense and required many hours. How could they fill my shoes(thick sarcasm interjected)? Oh and did I mention that my entire family lives in Arizona and we all lived within about five miles of each other?

We felt like God called us to pray every night for his guidance until He spoke. We poured our hearts out, our fears, concerns everything! We were exhausted. We so expected Him to answer in a day or two or three or even four. It was about day 15 that Carl said "I am too tired tonight." I agreed very quickly!(Good thing it wasn't 40 years) So Carl looks up and says "Hey God don't give me a dream tonight, don't speak to us we don't need to know what is going on." He knew God could handle his sense of humor and off to bed we went. I know you will be shocked but that is the night the Lord spoke. In a dream the Lord spoke to Carl. He said "the deadline for the interview in Colorado Springs is Sept 20something." (Carl couldn't remember the exact date but it was in the twenties). It was late August when he had this dream. Carl immediately poo-pooed the date. What we did believe was that God was calling us back to Colorado Springs. So Carl immediately began the job search in Colorado. We called David and Renee to let them know we were coming back. David mentioned CCB. So the week of September 20 something Carl was on a plane to Colorado and interviewing for two positions. Hmmm...the date did mean something! The story is much longer and much more involved but CCB is where Carl is currently working and loves it!

Carl packed his car and headed to Colorado on Thursday, October 22. He got there just in time for David's 40 birthday party on the 24th of October. He had the opportunity to live with David and Renee for about 6 weeks before the kids and I joined. Coincidence? I think not! God had a plan even in the midst of our chaos God knew we and especially Carl needed time with David.

We know God has brought us back to Colorado. We know there is so much He has in store for us. We are excited about our journey here and even in the midst of sadness and grief we are excited about what is next! If you are facing uncertainty(trust me ours isn't over) don't let the enemy take control. God is faithful!

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

The Dentist

Today I had the joy of going to the dentist. I am not being sarcastic when I say joy. I genuinely felt joyful. How? Am I crazy(still being debated)? I actually felt joyful because after living out of the state for three and a half years my dentist remember my name. He also remembered my children, he remembered my husband did voice-over work and he also remembered my friend David who was also a patient of his. He recalled that we had referred David and Renee to him well over eight years ago. What? Who remembers such details. Although great friends we didn't go to the dentist together. We simply referred them to the dentist. This is the fascinating part he has been greatly touched by David. He talked about what an amazing father he was and he said "he was just one of those guys that you knew wasn't all talk but really was hands on with his children." He said that while David was missing he kept hoping that David would come home. He spoke of how genuine David was and how kind. He said " I just don't get why the good guys go so young?" I would have to say that is the question of the century!

I don't know if my Dentist has a real relationship with Jesus. If I had to go with my gut I would say no. What I do know is that I can look at all the dental work that Carl and I need to get done and complain or I can see every visit to the dentist as an opportunity to show God's love. I guess one more life lesson from David. Thanks for the continued journey friend!

Monday, March 1, 2010

Tough Days

Yesterday was very difficult for both my husband and myself. It was just one of those days when you look at the circumstances of your life and ache.

Yesterday was Zander's third birthday. We were so privileged to have lunch with him and celebrate. He was so joyful and excited to turn three. He graced us all with his favorite saying "What's your name?" Even though he not only knows our names he could probably say them in alphabetical order. He just loves to ask everyone that question. He danced a silly dance and took pictures with everyone. He lit up as we sang Happy Birthday and loved his froggy cake. He had a great time!

We however, felt the loss more than ever. It seems so wrong for a three year old not to celebrate his birthday with his father. I missed David's proud Papa face. It was painful and sad. When I got home I realized just how angry I am at God. I am so annoyed by his plan. Yes,(for those of you who attend Vanguard)I judged God. I know I shouldn't but I don't know how to not judge Him right now. He could have saved my friend but He didn't. He could have allowed a three year old many more years with an adoring father.

This morning I felt prompted to read through Job. As I was reading I realized that I do want to love God like Job did. He was stripped of everything and never cursed God(wish this was true of me). I guess it comes down to continuing to journey onward with God. I don't trust Him or like Him but I do still Love Him. I wonder how many of you are exactly where I am at?